Book Review: I Kissed Dating Goodbye

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Ok.  Here we go with the relationship book reviews! This book sparked a movement...from what I hear.  The title was catchy enough.  The book was published in 1997 so I have images in my mind of people in their teens and early 20s with hairdos and clothes from All That and Saved By the Bell walking around saying "no" to dating.  This book has also received a lot of bad press.  Here's what I thought of the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.

Let's start with "Commendations":

I commend Harris for endeavoring to write such a book in his 20s to help people in their teens and early 20s focus on their relationship with the Lord instead of dating.  And he was a single person at this point!  Talk about pressure to put the principles he discussed in action after the book became public!

I commend Harris for encouraging singles to recognize singleness as a real gift from God and to prepare themselves for marriage (or not) by solid introspection and working on weak areas. 

The Nitty Gritty:

In the very beginning of the book he makes the comment, "Our ultimate purpose is not to figure out if Christians should date and, if so, how.  Instead, as you read, I hope you look at the aspects of your life that dating touches - the way you treat others, the way you prepare for your future mate, your personal purity--and attempt to bring these areas into line with God's Word."  I really enjoyed the focus on a person's relationship with the Lord as being more important than preparing for marriage.  He also discusses various areas that one should develop and improve as they prepare for marriage.

He suggests that the stages of a godly romance are casual friendships, deeper friendship, purposeful intimacy with integrity, and engagement. He does make some very compelling arguments about examining one's character and that of someone you're looking at as a potential mate.

MY BEEF wit da book:

Harris makes it seem like dating is absolutely terrible!  He makes valid points on why he disagrees with dating though.  In his stages of a godly romance, I feel (personal opinion) that the stage of purposeful intimacy could actually be considered *GASPS!* dating.  Also, certain example stories in the book seemed better suited for teenagers than for singles in their 20s and beyond.  While I understand that he couldn't write something for EVERYONE, at some points I found myself not enjoying parts of the book.

Final diagnosis:  I do indeed recommend this book.  May be a little hard to get through at times because of our culture's view of dating but it's an interesting read from a different perspective.